Wisconsin Autism Empowerment

Sunday, I heard a message that had me crying in the pew, not from the preacher but from a church member sharing their story. This young person told of their family messages, leading them to internal devaluation to the point of suicidal thoughts. They were told they needed to ‘fix’ who they were to be worthy of love. The labels deemed unworthy of love, autism and transgender. They were told having these labels made them less than human. 

Being pounded with this devaluation left them broken inside. They didn’t feel worthy of life. They didn’t feel worthy of love. They withdrew into depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideations. The world could have lost a beautiful spark of light. Because of words. Evil. Hateful. Lies. 

What saved them was finding a community. A person, then another person, who got them. Other souls who understood who they authentically are and regarded them as worthy. Worthy of love. Worthy of respect. Worthy of existing… feelings that are basic human needs. Feelings their family had stripped from them with their words. Wounds that were dressed by loving other humans.

Autism is a part of the neurodiversity spectrum. It is a wired part of a person, not less than, but unique. Not damaged, but different. No one human is an exact copy of all other humans. The world doesn’t expect this of neurotypical people; why should we expect it of autistic folks? As a culture, we value uniqueness, so why are we not valuing all types of uniqueness?

I am a cis, straight, white woman in the baby boomer age group. My generation lived as whatever gender their birth bits and paperwork said they were. I have felt fine with my female label. But I know others who have not felt whole as the gender box checked. They described it as alien, pretender, fake, self-hate. Medically, it’s called gender dysphoria. It’s a miserable state to be in. 

When they can live as their soul feels, it’s life-giving. Sadly, when someone finds their authentic self, others aren’t accepting. Many in our culture do not accept any variance from the paper check box. Those seeking internal peace with who they are are met with hate, violence, and rejection. This person’s family did not let them have peace as their authentic self, tearing away at them, demanding they return to the check box dictated. 

Most of us would not intentionally shred another like this person’s family did. Most of us see family as cherished, to love and honor, not to hurt and harm. For those who want to spew love, it’s the more subtle hurts we can work toward eliminating. The unintentional slips. The words of correction that cause damage do not help. We can use our words carefully to build. If we make a mistake, own it, fix it, and do better next time. And we can surround this beautiful autistic transperson with love, fully seeing them.