Wisconsin Autism Empowerment

Here I Am!!!

A few weeks ago I volunteered in my church’s nursery.  There was a happy toddler who wanted to play hide n’ seek there that day.  This child would hide and when we finished counting would jump out and yell ‘here I am!’ running towards us with the biggest joyful smile.  It was such an emotional boost that innocent, unfiltered kid energy.   This toddler has known only love their whole short life.  And it was evident in their openness. 

Most of us start out as open trusting little souls.  We, if we’re lucky, are born into families who love us.  We are cared for.  We trust because our caregivers show us love.  Proud of who we are, fully authentically, ready to announce ourselves to a loving world.  But then … the world.  The world happens to us.

We go out there and interact with those outside our loving circle.  People who don’t like or understand little kid’s behaviors.  Judgmental people.  Angry people.  Babysitters, teachers, neighbors, extended family, people in parks, museums, zoos.  They have opinions about us. It shows on their faces, how they act towards us.  Sometimes they will share their judgement of us, directly.  They call us hurtful things.

We take it in.  Their opinion of us becomes part of us.  It changes our sense of self.  This can be very damaging to us as time goes on, the weight we carry with us.  It’s an issue for all of us to work through.  Having a ‘label’ makes it so much harder.  They feel damaged, less than.  Parents are human, it sinks into their view of their child too.  Those with the neurodiverse labels have gone through a lifetime of this messaging.  It’s a deep cut to the soul.

I know many neurodiverse people who feel that weight.  When there’s a misunderstanding they take on the blame, when there are TWO minimum involved.  If there’s sensory overload they see it as their issue not an environmental one.  I have heard them say how they feel unheard, unseen, unworthy of equal respect. 

They were once a happy toddler expecting love.  Then…the judgement of the world. 

I see beauty in diversity.  The unique, creative perspectives of my neurodiverse friends is refreshing.  Our big world problems will be solved by someone who thinks outside the box or as one man put it ‘what box?’.   Let’s appreciate the differences.  Make it better, accommodate where needed.  Gentle patience and understanding for all when there is a conflict of needs.   The neurotypical isn’t automatically ‘right’ and the neurodiverse ‘wrong’. 

The church my oldest and I go to is full of neurodiverse folks who proudly claim their label.  In that environment they can say ‘here I am!’.  Our world would be so much better if that sense of acceptance was standard.  Here I am, loved, appreciated, as my authentic self.